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The Love Stayed Young

Looking back on their nearly 25 years of marriage, Elizabeth Gail Hayden credits James E. Hayden with bringing her much joy, to say nothing of chicken and fish.

When they met in 1972 as freshmen in college, the only dinner entree she would eat was beef. Mr. Hayden, though, was adventurous about food.

Determined and focused at work, Mr. Hayden, 47, was chief financial officer of Netegrity, an Internet security company in Waltham, Mass. He was aboard United Airlines Flight 175 when it hit the south tower.

He rarely talked of work at home, but instead was a great listener, helping solve the workaday issues for his children, John, 17, and Elizabeth, 19.

The family ate dinner together every night. He liked to cook on weekends, frequently making salmon on Saturday nights. He sought out new restaurants to try, and when he traveled he chose exotic foods. He even got his wife to try them, too.

"I moved beyond beef," Mrs. Hayden said, with a laugh.

There was one thing she hadn't moved beyond: the feeling that they were young, and in love.

"He made me feel like I was 18," she said. "I loved that."

Profile published in THE NEW YORK TIMES on December 15, 2001.

James E. Hayden, Netegrity executive

By Globe Staff, 9/17/2001

A funeral Mass will be said today for James Edward Hayden of Westford and West Dennis, vice president and chief financial officer for Netegrity Inc. in Waltham, who was killed Tuesday in the crash of United Airlines Flight 175 in New York. He was 47.

Mr. Hayden was born in Pawtucket, R.I., and was a graduate of Stonehill College in North Easton.

He was vice president and chief financial officer at Netegrity for 31/2 years, a Waltham firm that helps Web sites identify users and tailor services to them.

Before 1998, Mr. Hayden was vice president at Computervision Inc. in Bedford. He also had worked as a certified public accountant for Deloitte, Haskins and Sells of Boston.

He was a member of the Massachusetts Society of Certified Public Accountants and the National Association of Accountants.

He leaves his wife, Elizabeth Gail Fox; a daughter, Elizabeth Kaitlin; a son, John; his father, James F. of Pawtucket; and a brother, Barry of Lincoln, R.I.

The Mass will be said at 11 a.m. in St. Catherine Church in Westford.

Editorial Obituary published in THE BOSTON GLOBE on 9/17/2001.